Have A Bunch of Sex: 10 Quick Conclusions From Tonight's "Degrassi" Episode

It's back and stupid as it ever was!!!!:

Link: http://www.the-n.com/ntv/shows/index.php?id=67

The B plot was dumb as hell. You got it within the first two seconds: Mia=nice; Holly J=Satan; Anya=Pushover. Anya is so not the new Hazel. Hazel would've revealed that Holly J has a private tutor as well as a tapeworm (theres your reason for why Holly J's always eating off of other's trays) and then apologized a second later. Only good thing about the subplot: This was the first episode where I didnt think Holly J was terrible. I actually found it enjoyable to watch her make fun of her idiotic peers; I loved when she called Derek ugly.

The Ellie plot was decent. It was typical latter-day Degrassi in that nothing really happened. If Ellie had conveyed to Caitlin that Jessie was her boyfriend as soon as she saw them making babies a lot of the episode's problems would have been resolved. It was also rediculous that Ellie considered staying with Jessie.

However, overall I found it mildly enjoyable and there was nothing that transpired that totally offended me. With that, here are the top 10 things I deduced from this episode:

1. Ellie's alcoholism will be adressed in a future episode.

2. Paige will hook up with Griffin. Degrassi always drops dumb hints to make us feel like even bigger losers for watching the show so religiously. Paige's "Griffin's stupid party" comment should not be read as a throaway. I guess Paige and Griffin will have a relationship of the opposites attract variety.

3. Engineering students know how to party! They werent even using coasters! Craaazy.

4. Mia and Holly J are still sharing a locker. This doesn't really make sense because A) just a few episodes ago Mia kicked Holly J out of her locker and B) why wouldnt Holly J just order Anya to share her locker? Anya had all of the adjacent locker to herself.

5. Ambiguity concerning grades persist. Either Anya, Holly J and Mia are all Juniors or Derek (and thus Danny) are actually Sophmores. Or perhaps Derek is just really bad at Science and is in a 10th grade Science class. Its doubtful Anya, Holly J and Mia would be a year ahead in Science since they are all dumbasses. If Derek is indeed behind in Science, I dont think his prospects for graduating on time are high. He sucks at history as we found out in that excruciating episode from last year. Its hard enough to graduate from Degrassi on time even if you do well in your classes. Your likely to get shot or go to London. Derek better be getting super high marks in Media Immersion.

6. Anya has dislexia (Everytime I hear her name I think of the Korean character from Arrested Developement).

7. Ellie and Jessie broke up. Yay! Now she can date......Marco? Add an eligable bachelor Degrassi!

8. Ellie has the potential to be a great journalist. I think this is mostly because journalism doesn't particularly emphasize good posture. Even when she wasn't drunk, Ellie did a lot of wierd flailing and stumbling in this episode.

9. The actor who plays Sav IS the next Hazel. Was he just too busy to show up or do the producers hate him? Holly J kept inviting Anya to events that Sav was hosting. Why didnt they just have Sav walk by and invite them himself? This would've better conveyed the point that Anya is shallow and puts up with Holly J's shit in order to maintain her popularity.

10. Caitlin is still famous. I guess her world tour on AIDs was a sucess. She didn't seem to mind that Joey is dead.

P.S. This episode also maintained the pretense of Degrassi taking place on a planet where one drink gets you drunk.

Next week looks interesting. Emma isnt predictable. She makes no sense. And why doesnt she just remind them all of the time she got ghonorrhea? Nobody saw that coming. Also, she hasn't protested or eaten tofurkey in years. It's one of the episodes I'm excited about so I'll probably see yall next week for another recap. Peace